Failure

to live up to my own decisions... Happened to me a few times already on various fronts. This time Yom Kipur. I broke down some 5 hours before the end of the fast. Am feeling very sad because of that. Makes me wonder how much I can trust myself at all...

There is another thing that I have been thinking about: impressions. Since I am getting fatter lately -hardly able to close my jeans- I was thinking about the impression 'fat people' give: being confident, in charge, not weak etc. While there could be such a fragile soul hiding underneath this outer casting. Like mine :-(

Still I can't get rid of the impression... Prejudices.... Why am I not able to get rid of those? Both for the sake of seeing through the "coating" and also for myself? Does it have to do with attraction and wanting to be liked or what?

Alles gaat voorbij....