Last day of October

Haven't written here because I felt too much down. I still do. It's now (after a while that I am not in a situation that I have to daily defend myself against insane aggressiveness) that I start to realize that I've been "had". Coming to Israel for the sole purpose of a man who I gave all my love to and him treating me as his enemy (why the F* didn't he just separate from me??) has resulted in his threats having come true - both my children now are living in 'his world' with one I have lost forever and the other becoming more and more intolerant to my conviction in life.

Those wounds can't be healed. Mrs. Naivety doesn't even have the power to try anymore. Perhaps for some religion is a life-saver but for me, it has destroyed my life when it was taken as a weapon against me. I feel like hiding in my shell and just wait for the end. But 'life' is forcing me to deal with it. Daily. Unimportant things, like work and money. I'm just fed-up.

In the meanwhile though I keep on letting all the beautiful things (that nature offers for free) enchant me to the core of my heart and let me forget my hurt for the duration I am seeing those wonderful views...

Today at the Nemaal:

A gorgeous butterfly that followed me at least 50 meters on my route to the Nemaal:

The sea who took yet another two lives yesterday but is too magical to be angry at, and the skies that were magic as if calling to ascend to the 'light'. The stars on the water who played between the vision of my eyes connecting them through to my heart that got all warm